After my father passed away suddenly, my mother, siblings and I all struggled with planning his funeral. We were already in a state of shock and sorrow, and then we were overwhelmed with the options and decisions we had to make in regards to the funeral. Luckily for us, we worked with an amazing funeral home and funeral director who helped guide us through the process. I know how hard it is to plan a funeral and how many decisions need to be made. This website was created in order to give families preparing to lay a loved one to rest a guide of sorts that will help them determine what decisions will need to be made and information about those decisions. I extend my sympathies to you if you are in this position and hope my website helps to make things a little bit easier for you.
Even if you have the best of intentions, it can be easy to inadvertently make an etiquette miscue due to being unsure of how to act or even because you were stressed and did not understand your actions. Practicing good funeral etiquette is an important way to support the family in need and can also subtly remind those around you of the proper manner in which to act. Here are three etiquette mistakes to avoid making during your next funeral home visit.
Using Insensitive Cliches
Offering your verbal sympathy to the bereaved family can be one of the more challenging elements of attending any funeral. If you feel uncomfortable during this exchange, it can become tempting to resort to the use of cliches. In general, cliches don't add much value to the conversation because they're not authentic; however, some of these common sentiments can also sound insensitive. Things like telling a family member you know how he or she is feeling or relaying the message that the family's grief will get easier in time are ill-suited for sharing at a funeral and are best to avoid. Instead, offer sincere empathy or simply say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and move on. If you are called upon by a family member to offer greater emotional support, you can give it.
Detaining The Family
In many cases, it can be tempting to want to offer lengthy condolences to the grieving family -- and sometimes, you might feel that talking about the life of the person who has passed away can help you with the grieving process, too. Do your best to avoid detaining the family with long conversations. Remember, all the other funeral attendees are also wishing to speak to the family to offer their condolences. It's best to keep your exchange succinct. If you wish to offer further sympathy toward the family, give a call in the days after the funeral or arrange an in-person visit.
Overstaying Your Welcome
If you're at the funeral home for a visitation, it's better to keep your attendance brief that overstaying your welcome. Staying too long is problematic because it can clog up the room and put extra demands on the family. If the family sees that you're still standing around, they might feel responsible for going to speak to you. Try to keep your visit to around 15 minutes. This duration is enough to successfully convey your message and offer your support.
Share25 December 2015
